Seeing

This is how I was and how I still can be at times even though I don’t ever want to be at all.  It is getting less the more I walk and the more I learn to let go my life and understand with the Lord’s help, but at times, I rear up in myself and God has to put His finger on my head and hold me  still and so I jangle about like a wooden doll and He waits patiently for me to stop and to really see what I am doing. I thank God with all my heart, that I can fall on my face and repent in tears before Him, only because of what Jesus did through going to the Cross.

He picks me up off the floor, dusts me off, wipes my tears away and on we go together, My Lord and I.

Without Jesus in my life, I would be lost forever.

Seeing

I can’t let go with my left and hold on with my right
It creates
Deliberation
Confusion
Frustration
Delusion
I do this to myself. YOU don’t.
Riotous imaginations. Little control. Minimal yielding.
I. Me. Mine. SELF.
I create the scene, take the leading role
then walk away with a result I never expected.
Surprise to me, but never to You. Never.
You watch me as I rant and rave, jerking about like a stiff wooden doll.
You watch. And wait for me to stop. Eventually I always do.

I am knowing, yet understand nothing.
I am breathing, but not truly living.
From the shore you shout “Take both hands off. Let go your human intellect.
Let it go – it has no place here!”
But I cannot hear you
because my thoughts and arguments are
so loud in my head,
raging and resisting the very thing that
brings the relief I so crave.

“Peace, be still!”
I shout back “ Seeing is believing!”
You say, ” Believing is seeing with the eyes I have given you.
Your eyes are still so much of your mind. They are of no use to Me.
Pluck them out…”

Disable my flesh to allow spiritual enablement.
I have no need of two sets of eyes.
Which ones am I going to see through?

Forgive me, Lord, I want to see through yours.

Originally posted 2009-03-01 06:18:50. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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