Just recently I have allowed things to get in the way of my desire for the Lord, and gradually, in fact quite rapidly, I have found my heart crusting over into a hard shell. The desire I have for the Word seemed to have faded somewhat, my thoughts seemed rarely to fix upon God as they often do normally, and I found unfit words spouting from my mouth without even thinking about it. Don’t get me wrong, I hadn’t turned into some raving atheist overnight or anything, but that degree or two of separation had left me feeling utterly cold, and unworthy and unable to honour my Lord.
As I went to church this morning, in the midst of hearing the Word of God being preached, and singing songs of praise amongst the congregation, it was as though my spirit heard a familiar voice calling. Not some weird or mystical manifestation, but a simple voice in my spirit calling me to follow Him once again. And how warm and inviting is that call, especially when you would fear the direct opposite!
I was reminded once again today that it’s all about Him and not about me. I was reminded that He knows my love, my faithfulness, my sincerity, my humility, my generosity, my kindness, my patience and so on, is absolutely nothing compared to that of His. Yet if I can even begin to grasp His infinite mercy and grace towards a sinner like me, and simply trust in Him, then my own shortcomings matter not.
Thank you Jesus for loving a wretch like me. I say this with no false humility, but with full understanding that I am exactly that, an undeserving wretch. However the blood you shed cleanses me from all unrighteousness, and Your grace delivers me into an inheritance I shall never deserve or merit.
Bless You my Lord, and may Your face forever shine upon me, lest I die an eternal death.
PDF No related posts.
Bless you John for sharing with such transparency
it will no doubt encourage those who read this and bring glory to God at the same time. It is indeed His mercy to be shown these things and we all have the busyness of our lives which creeps in from time to time and then we are shown how it has robbed us of His presence and His joy. The marvellous thing is, is that you heard Him calling and did not harden your heart as I know I have done in the past, but moved towards Him. All praise to Him!
John, your comments brought to mind a season in my life which was similar but worse; in fact, I was a seminary student (of all things) at the time and pastoring a small rural church in Texas. I learned first hand what it means to be doing the work of the Lord apart from His presence. Months of full time master level studies, being a father and husband, pastoring a church, and working the graveyard shift at UPS as an airdock supervisor had depleted me spiritually. Slowly over time my daily devotional time evaporated and the time I spent in the Word was directed at “getting a message” for the next Sunday, all the while the Lord desired to press His message through my life in order that I might have something to share that would be authentic. The wake up call for me took place during a shift at UPS when an employee spouted off in rebellion to a directive I had given and proceeded to clock out and leave. The next thing I knew my ears heard some crazy guy (me) shouting profanity at this person as he walked out of the building. Then it hit me, as I stood there in the middle of the room with people just staring at me (the seminary pastor!) just how far this prodigal had wondered from the loving embrace of the Lord Jesus. The result of the experience has remained with me as a harrowing reminder of what the phrase “by the grace of God go I” means. Through repentance I quit UPS and reestablished my relationship with Jesus and life with Him one again became sweet and beautiful. That event took place about 13 years ago and by the grace of God has never been repeated. It was a valuable life lesson of the importance of staying close to the Lord. Thanks for Sharing, brother, and may the Lord bless you this day.